Although we didn't want to be born, here we are, going through life as though it were a need or an obligation. Many people committed suicide at the hands of their own. Why must it come to that? Why don't you just give living the life you desire another go? What made you to face your regrets after this life without fear?
Because life is the word cruel itself.
Chapter 1: So For Once.
A busy day at the park. Little kids screaming on top of their lungs, parents scolding them. The group of birds they always warned not to feed. And the beautiful lady who'd always paint the view here. They're all here again almost like the days kept repeating itself. Then there's June, sitting alone in a bench at the park.
He doesn't have a place to go nor to stay. His house is a mess with his father being an alcoholic and his mother who doesn't ever bother to pay any attention to him. He likes to sit there in that specific bench. His reason? "I like to watch her paint. Painting all the view with the colors that i can't see."
June is colorblind. A way for all of the people in school to bully him. But this nice lady always smiles at him whenever their eyes met. How her brush not just stroke the canvas but also his heart. June can feel her burning passion in the art that she create. He once have that desire, passion, dream to something but it's loss somewhere deep down inside him.
With a smile he approaches the lady. "Hey, i can't help but notice that pretty painting of yours. Are you an artist?" The lady stop to look at June. Her smile was even brighter and warmer than the rays of sunshine. How could someone be so mesmerizing.
"I wish i am. I'm studying to become a lawyer actually. Painting is just a side hustle though my parents are never going to approve my will to become an artist" A dream that is not approved will never become real unless one has the bravery to fight for it. But June understands he knows not everyone can go against the world and run off to start their journey by themself.
June nods and smiled. Such a shame someone as talented as her can't even achieve her dreams. "My name is June, June Haltwood." June took out his hand to shake the lady's hand. The lady soften her gaze towards June. Something so simple that can make June heart beats alot faster.
"Pleased to meet you, June. My name is Isabella Dawson. My friends like to call me Isa or belle but, i supposed you can call me whatever you like." Isabella gave him a quick smile and continue to focus on her painting.
"Can i call you mine then?" June said with his flirty tone. But he is always like this, he likes to flirt as jokes. Was it a redflag side of him?
"Bold." Isabella stated. They both let out a small chuckle and smile at eachother.
"And oh— can i have your contact? No, maybe just your social account on any social media platform?" June took out his phone from his pocket. Isabella didn't say a word but then she snatches June phone out of his hand. She began to type something on his phone. She then hands out his phone back to him. She added her number.
"Oh my cab arrived. Until we meet again." Isabella carries her stuff to the car she was helped by the driver. While June was left shock standing near a river at the park. For the first time in his life a girl didn't just reject her and said "ew." to his face. She was kind, friendly, and... pretty?
Chapter 2: In My Life
School was always like a trial of hell not just for June but for everyone, excluding the nerds. And today is even worser because June has P.E. Why? No one really knows. Maybe he's just not the type to run around and do athletic stuff. And that's fine, not all boys have to be athletic, right?
He didn't go to the changing rooms with others. He always changes in the bathroom which is kinda far from the P.E class. He run as fast as he can expecting not to be late and get detention again. Right on time! The bell rang just a second after June entered.
The class had just started yet June has sweats all over his body already. The P.E. teacher blows a whistle signaling everyone in the room to gather up. The boys in the left and the girls in the right and June right in the middle...? He's brain is probably still figuring out where he is. He's sleep deprived, he can't sleep yesterday. It's not insomnia; rather, it seems more like his mind is still clouded by something even though sleep merely makes him feel better physically.
"Alright girls, 2 laps for you today and boys 5 laps not buts. Go, NOW." The teacher said sternly. He's always a strict one but also the most caring teacher in this school.
June started running faster than everyone he's not happy with it but whatever takes the job to be done. And finally on the last lap he runs towards the line completing it. As he pants and walks over to a bench. He forgot to bring a water bottle after changing in the toilet.
"You overlapped again June. Here, i knew you'd forgot about your water bottle again. Don't get dehydrated." June takes the water bottle in gratitude and downed it in one sitting. "Thank you Mr. Huxley. You don't need to worry about me though."
Mr. Huxley nods patting his head before leaving him in peace. June took a deep breath. Maybe this isn't so bad after all. Mr. Huxley is nice to him, and so far someone hasn't said a word about him—
"Is that June? What's with the uniform?" He may be colorblind but he's not deaf. He could hear the girls gossiping about him again. Who is he kidding? The world would never be kind to a person like him.
Chapter 3: Please Let Me.
"Maybe the world would be better off without me." Letting his mind run like he was about to end it all here. But he knows better than that. He stares in the mirror with hatred and disgust. How could someone be so annoying and sickening to look at.
His breathing became rapid and uncontrollable. With the same voices he've heard every single time. June frowned in the mirror while clenching his hands into a fist. If someone asks him to say the thing he most hated, he would've said, "The 6th month in the calendar."
Shattered pieces of glass, hands covered in blood. The feeling of pain and guilt started to lurk inside of him. He walks slowly towards the medkit on the shelf. He bandaged his hands carefully. Yet this pain feels phantom and real at the same time. But what feels real these days anyway.
June found himself walking at the park at nighttime when nobody was around. Except, he sees a sillhouette of a woman sitting on the bench that he always use. She's humming alone, weirdly her hums touched not only June's heart but also his soul. A voice so calm and gentle but if you listened for too long you might just get hypnotised by the sweetness of the melody.
"Ah? June what are you doing here?" June ignored her question and sat down beside her.
"I should be the one who's asking that, Isabella. It's dangerous for a woman like you to be alone." Isabella's giggles made June confused as he tilted his head. Did he say something funny?
"Oh but i'm already accompanied by a big strong man." Isabella smirks. June looks around and observes the park throughout. He doesn't see anyone else.
"It's you, idiot." Isabella chuckles. She lifted her head to face the beautiful stars. The dark sky, the moon, the stars, her and June.
"I'm not strong and neither am i big." June crossed his arms and let out a sigh. Isabella shrugs switching her gaze towards him and laughs.
"You don't need to be. After all it's not what i look for in a man either. Wait what happened to your hands?!" Isabella shows her concerned to June. She didn't touch his hands because she's afraid he'll get hurt.
"This? Never you mind. Stuffs happened, that's all." Isabella noticed that June is uncomfortable. She doesn't wanna push him and pressure him to talk. She could never do that to someone she loves.
"Say, June, do you believe in love?" Isabella asks. June stayed quiet for awhile and shook his head no. whilst the word "love" exist, its existence can be questioned. For love feels nothing like a feeling that exits on its own. It's not what we actually feel, we only think that we're in love but what truly is love?
"Well then do you believe in attraction?" Isabella asks once again. This time June nods slowly. Attraction, to draw another by exerting a powerful influence. It doesn't have to be about love, but it can be use to express it.
"Let's just say that you're a magnet and i'm some sort of iron type. I'm attracted to you." June eyes widen but he doesn't think it feel right. He has never love someone before in his life. Not even his family, friends, or even himself.
"But why? I apologise Belle but, i'm a bad person. I'm a liar and— i... lied to you about myself. I'm not who you think i am now and i'll never be." June said.
Isabella thinks for awhile, "So you're telling me you're not even a—"
"No, i'm not." June turns his face away. He's a coward, he likes to hide in shades and not ever come out.
"That's okay, June. After all i fell in love with your soul not just you. Not just your face, your kindness, your boldness. But i feel like we have a connection with each other. If you don't think you love me, i'll wait. I'll wait even if you take 500 years to fall in love with me." June eyes shines brightly. Mostly because he was holding back tears of joy.
He smiles and said, "I love you, Isabella."
Chapter 4: Get What I Want
Was i daydreaming again just now? Seriously there's something about her that i can't just take my eyes of her. I never actually know her name, the name in my daydream was just a made up. What are you even thinking about June? She'll never love anyone like you.
I stood up and left the park bench. It's still hot here maybe i shouldn't visit the park in the afternoon again. I walk towards a fish pond in the park. The water must be hot too, i can see the fish not swimming the way they used to. As i gaze upon the pond and my reflections in it i felt a light tap on my shoulder.
I turn around to see who it was, probably someone who's asking for directions. But it surprised me when i saw her. The lady who'd always paint the view in the park. She was so close to me. It feels like i want to run and never comes back into this park.
"Hello there, i'm sorry but i was just wandering have we met before? Your face seems familiar." Her gentle voice make my heart ache for her.
"No, I'm afraid not. But i often come here so you might've seen me around. Oh the name's June if you're wondering." I hand out my hand to shake hers. Her hand was just as soft in my daydream.
"Pleasure to meet you, June. I'm Isabella." She smiled. Wait i was right? Her name was Isabella. What a coincidence.
"Is it weird if i told you that i've dreamt about you. Well, i didn't know that you exist in the first place until just now." Isabella said. She dreamt about me? A beautiful stunning mesmerizing woman dreamt about ME?
"What was the dream about?" I asked curiously.
"It was a love confession. But now i know why i dreamt about it. I also feel a connection with you just know. Some things that are hard to say but i feel like we're fated with eachother." Isabella said as she holds my hands.
"No, you can't, i'm not—"
"I know, June. You told me in my dreams before. But no matter what the reason is i will always love you." I was cut off short by Isabella. Her reassurance feels so genuine.
"Will you wait for me for 500 years till i fall for you?" That was a dumb question for me to ask her. But then she giggles.
"I'll wait for as long as you want me to."
Has the world recieved my prayers and forgave me about the sins that i've done. Perhaps not but, For once in my life i've finally get the things that i've wanted for a long time. Someone that'll love me for who i am before and who i am now.
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